The Art of Solitude: How to De-funk Yourself While Your Other Half is Away.
Dealing with loneliness and extended periods of being apart can make your brain go unreasonably wonky. There are mental highs where you feel like you can conquer the world Rosie-the-Riveter-style but then there are those dirty lows that can creep up on you.
The derailment can be as simple as a burnt pancake, a crying kid, a schedule change or a broken lawn mower. Sometimes, it is all of the above simultaneously. Whatever the catalyst, the overwhelming feeling is the same and can bring on an uncontrollable sobfest and a longing for your partner that sets in and does not fade.
I’ve been there many times, but what I’ve learned over the years is to be proactive. Whether your partner is a merchant mariner, in the military or in any line of work that can take them away for longer stretches of time, your best ally is keeping your mental game tight. Make steps to combat your lonesomeness and turn your time apart into something constructive.
Sweat every day. Let all toxic emotions leave the body. Work through your frustrations and anxieties. Work out each and every day, no excuses.
Rival the silence. A quiet home can be one of the loneliest sounds. Keep your brain busy with podcasts in the absence of conversation.
My Podcast Regulars: Joe Rogan Experience , Jocko Podcast , Drunk on Lettering
Read. Keep learning. Don’t let your gears stop. Read the same books as your partner and discuss them when you’re together.
Be social even when you don’t want to be. Do not hide in that hermit cave. Get dressed, get out and talk to someone.
Make something. Learn a craft. Start and finish a project. Let your emotion and excess energy leave your body constructively. Put your solo time to work and enjoy it.
Collective Lists. List your short and long term goals. Ask yourself everyday, “Is what I am doing or how I am feeling getting me closer to these goals?” If not, realign.
Exchange letters. Your communication might lag and that feeling of closeness is hard to maintain when your apart but before every trip write each other a letter. Keep them as a reminder to keep going. I’ve kept every single one and they are my hugs when he is away.
Try to find a routine that works and resist bowing down to your overactive mind.
I think you’re strong as hell and your partner probably does too. Keep going.